I Had a Mental Breakdown

October 1, 2018

I wish people warned me about my 20s. I mean, really warned me about the physical, mental, and emotional turmoil I was getting into. I wish people told me about the moments of complete confusion, or all of the nights I wouldn’t be able to shut my brain off. It would have been nice to know about the enormous amounts of fear and anxiety that come with the pressure of feeling like you have to have it all together. And maybe, just maybe they could have filled me in on the grief that would stir up in my heart as I walk further and further away from my youth.

Adulting is hard. Growing up is hard. The real world is hard.  To so many, I probably look like this young, hard working go-getter. But, I’m really not. I’m actually quite lazy, and my busy life is just a trick of the mind that try to convince me that I have it all together. I’m a hot mess. A tired, overworked, sleep deprived, senioritis in full effect hot mess.

If we’re honest, I think there’s a little hot mess in all of us. The problem though, is that society has tricked us into believe that we can and should have it all together. NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.

And that is why I had a mental breakdown. I’ve actual had several ver the past week, and am probably having one right now. No. I am having one right not, and am writing this blogpost instead of studying for the 5 test and paper I have due this week, because of it.

I am the queen of taking on more than I can handle. It is as if I don’t know how to say the word no. I just pile, and pile obligations on my plate, and then watch them go tumbling down when the load becomes too much. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let the world’s standards send us into complete disarray?

It’s okay to take a break. To sit down. To breathe. 

For the first time, I think ever, I turned down a babysitting job simply because I didn’t feel like it. That never happens. If I’m free, I always say yes. But after nearly losing my mind, I knew I had to stop. I knew I had to breathe.

I wish it didn’t take full-blown breakdowns for me to realize I need to slow down. I wish I cared about my own well-being enough to realize when I was losing it. I’m working on that.

I had a mental breakdown. It wasn’t the first, and I am sure it won’t be the last. And I am telling you this, because I want you to know that its okay. We fall down. We meltdown. We breakdown. But we just can’t stay down.

Share your opinion:

  1. Learning your limits is part of getting older. I feel like the later into my 20s I get the easier it is for me to realize that I do not have to do it all. I still feel the pressure to want to do it all, but a lot of the burden is taken off from my amazing hubs who supports all of my decisions.

    1. Lol this is why I say a husband will solve all my problems! Obviously he won't, but it'd still be nice.

  2. Aw this is amazing of you to share! I struggle majorly with anxiety and have to learn to take a step back and slow down...

  3. Love this. Your 20s can definitely be a tough one. And you're right, it's important to remember that nobody really has it all together!


  4. You are SO strong. I was the same way!! "It’s okay to take a break. To sit down. To breathe." SO MUCH YES.

  5. I can relate to this soooo much and it's crazy what society has done to our own mental state. We take on more than we can, we think doing "nothing" is being lazy, but we all NEED to recover and take time for self-care. It's great that you can even take a step back and realize the mental breakdown is happening. I know you'll be able to get through it in healthy ways, but just remember to get through it the way that works for YOU, not how society tells you to. ;)

    1. Thank you so much for reading. Definitely learning as I go!