March 11, 2017

“Thy will be done.”

I love that phrase, but I don’t always like to hear it. I’m a control freak. I like to hold the past, present, and future in my hand. I need the ball in my court at all times. When I hear those four words, I hear God saying, “Hey let me take care of this. I’ll do what needs to be done.” No! No, no, no!

I am in a season of life where the unknown surrounds me on every end. I’ve changed my major for the fourth time, and have come to the realization that I have no idea what I’m doing in life. Graduation reels in closer and closer everyday. What am I going to do? Where will I work? Grad school? Teacher’s certification? Ministry? Destinee, what is your plan? I don’t know. I really just don’t know. This frustrates me, because I knew. Since starting college, I always knew what the end goal was. Teacher. And honestly, that still is the end goal, but the Lord revealed to me that the process and end result might not look how I’ve pictured it. I am learning to accept this truth.

I’m sure we’ve all played the “Get all the groceries inside in one trip” game a time or two. I play it till this day. Well, in life, Jesus wants to come and take those bags for us. He wants to take hold of our life’s “groceries”, put them away on the proper shelves, and bring them out at the right time. Now in terms of actual groceries, this sounds amazing! “You mean I don’t have to put my own things away? Someone else can do that for me? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?” But when it comes to the produce of our lives, our plans, money, and relationships, we freak out. We cling tight to those bags, and tell God, “Its okay. I got it.” NEWS FLASH: You don’t “got it”. Not at all.

Hillary Scott has a song titled the very words, “Thy Will Be Done”. This song used to tear me up. I’m talking hurriedly changing the station every time the song played on K-Love. I didn’t want to hear it. I wasn’t ready to give it all up to God. No not yet. I needed to get some things settled first. And then I heard this verse:
“Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that You’re God
And I am not”

Mic drop.
I am not God, and I will never be. If we know God to be the creator of the universe, the one who holds the world in the palm of His hand, why do we still doubt Him? Why do we try to take on these massive loads, when the Lord will so graciously take them off our backs?

“How much longer do you have in school?” “What are you going to do when you graduate?” “Have you thought about grad school?” I dread these questions, because to be quite honest, I don’t know. Like I mentioned earlier, I changed my major for technically, the fourth time last semester. I’m not really sure what I’m doing, or where I’m going. Today, we are expected to know just what we’re doing, and how we’re going to do it. I get it. It’s good to have a plan, but plans change, and that is okay. The Lord knows where He wants me, and in due time, He will make it very clear. Until then, I will pursue Jesus. I will chase after Him, and let His will be done.

Surrendering control can be hard, especially if you’re a control freak like me. But we have to let go. It’s for our good. God’s got this! I promise. He knows you, because He formed you. Those desires of your heart, yeah He placed them there. It says in Romans 8:28 , “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Notice that this doesn’t say for what we THINK is good, but what is good according to HIS purpose. Thy will be done.

We don’t know all the answers. We don’t have it all figured out. But God does, and He wants us to rest in that, and let His will be done. Let Him take your load. Allow His master plan to play out in your life.

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” | Proverbs 19:21

Love always,

Destinee Nicole

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