Pre-College Fears

August 1, 2015

Two weeks. I have two weeks left before I am off to a different to start my college journey. To say I am nervous is an understatement. Not only am I nervous, but anxious, excited, scared, and ready. I feel almost every emotion at once. My whole life is about to change, and I am about to be on my own. It's so funny, because for so long I couldn't wait for this moment to happen. All I ever wanted was to get out of my home, and go out on my own. I just wanted to be an adult so bad. Now that the time has come, I'm a lot more apprehensive about this whole thing. Now don't get me wrong, I am still head over heels ecstatic to start college, but I still have fears starting this new chapter in my life.For the first time in my life, I will be left to live on my own. To make my own decisions, and to have total control over my life. 

A huge fear I have going into this is that of failing. What if this doesn't work out? What if I can't keep up? What if I'm not good enough? 

Another thing I am afraid of is making friends. I love meeting new people, but I suck at it. I get super shy, and intimidated easily. The one thing I don't want to walk out of this experience with is regret. I don't want to regret not trying something or talking to someone. I know that the only way for this not to happen is for me to let go, and just put myself out there.

The Freshman Fifteen. You can laugh all you want, but its a huge fear of mine. My whole life I've been fairly thin, and I just can't imagine letting my body just go. Not just for my appearance, but for my health. I've maintained decent health almost all my life, and I am afraid that with my new found freedom and responsibility I will throw all my good habits out the window. THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!

I can already feel the changes that are coming along with all this college stuff. Things seem to be happening so fast. I know in my heart, that I am making the right decision. That UTSA is right for me, and that I will come out of this successful. But my mind just can't seem to shake the fears. Maybe its not supposed to. Whatever happens though, I'll be sure to bring you guys along this journey. Here's to the next four years of my life! Here's to #UTSA19!

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